Life is a journey, and I want to tell you mine.
Actually, I was quite hesitant to write this topic since I don’t want to expose my deep feelings to the mass, but I think it’s worth to be posted, so just let me be honest…
I started my 2018 by writing my goals. That was the first time I concerned about creating resolutions, goals, and habits. I began writing randomly about things I wanted to accomplish during 2018. Some numbers checked, some crossed. Yet, I am beyond delighted for my period of growth.
You’re doing wonderful, Darling!
I used to compare myself to anyone else: physical appearance, achievement, and wealth. I have grown in the rapid and full-spirited environment, especially my high school friends’ performance. I was stressed out, full of anxiety, and always felt never enough. To compress those kinds of feelings, I read books that happened to be my “guide”. One of the books whose quote I have been keeping in my mind is Noir. It says:
It hit me to the heart. I then dug deep about related topics: self-love, self-acceptance, and personal development. After that, I found very helpful channels on YouTube. One of them is Lavendaire . She inspires me a lot to accept myself, to improve myself in a better way.
I also began to take care of my body by applying skincare, wearing clothes that make myself spark, and…. exercising (which I am still working on). And I was gradually confident, physically. Then another ghost came which was people around my age’s achievements. Some of you (in my contacts) may remember I posted
“Ketika udh nggak insecure sm penampilan org lain, skrg insecure sm prestasi org lain. Rumput tetangga memang lebih hijau”
Thank you so much for those who replied and reminded me that life is not a competition TO WHAT OTHER PEOPLE HAVE. BUT TO OUR PAST. So I looked for, tried, and joint anything that interested me. And voila! Here I am. A person who is quite satisfied with her own.
Expect nothing, appreciate EVERYTHING
Some of my expectations turned to be disappointments.
I had planned what I wanted to do, which group I had eager to be the part of, but it didn’t go as smooth as I thought. Yet, I felt strange. When I didn’t expect to nothing, I gained a lot of something. For example, I just wanted to meet Reza Rahadian in the distance of metres, but I ended up shaking hands with him. I just wished to add my knowledge about writing in a workshop, yet I met an inspiring person who lightened my passion.
On the other hand, instead of expecting something that is uncontrollable, I count my blessings. Simply as finishing an assignment, meeting my friends, and having eyes in order to look at someone who is damn good-looking. Hehhehehehe
A dream without a plan is just a wish
Actually, I partly agree with that quote. (I strongly agree: A dream without action is just a wish) but for me, create a plan is the first action that works for me to become a much more productive person. I believe if I didn’t create my list at the beginning of 2018, I would not make a move. Some people may let their lives go with the flow. But I can’t. I become less overthinking when I have jotted down my list, let out everything that makes my mind burdened. The plan helps me immediately start one after another and not bother about what I should do next.
Those are the things I learnt from my 2018!
What has 2018 taught you?