How to Build Interpersonal Skills as An Introvert

I remember that my voice was cracking whenever I started to express my ideas and feelings during my first year in senior high school. I didn’t know how to build interpersonal skills as an introvert back then. 

I was afraid I would not be heard. I was scared that my utterances would only be unreasonable, silly, or empty-headed. I was suppressed by those sharp eyes.

Never did I realise that the small steps I took would sharpen my interpersonal skills as an introvert.


During my elementary school, I was the little storyteller even though I just imitated the way my dad told stories. I had my on-air schedule at one of the well-known radios in Malang. WKWKW. Can you believe that?

how to build interpersonal skills as an introvert_pendongeng cilik malang
I was a storyteller! Believe it or not 🙂

I thought it would be my last point, but my people-related journey hasn’t ended yet. Never will.
And I joined some storytelling competitions too in my junior high school. 
One day, when I told a story in an elementary school in Malang (I was invited:”)) some kids were laughing at me, I don’t know whether they just laughed because of the story, or because of how silly I was, but I felt that they were mocking at me. The thing didn’t change in other circumstances. Sadly, these moments carved in my heart. Then, I decided that I wouldn’t continue this path. It’s a ridiculous choice, I sometimes regret it.

I remember having an interview in my senior high school, I cried. LOL, I know. After I delivered my idea, it was rejected, I felt I wanted to cry. But, I sincerely want to say thank you to seniors and friends that picked also gave me an opportunity to join this heart-warming family.

OSIS Bhawikarsu SMAN 3 Malang 2014/2015
OSIS Bhawikarsu SMAN 3 Malang 2014/2015

The moment I entered university, I thought I just have to encounter books, data, and references because I am a literature student. OH NO~ There were speaking classes, presentation assignments, countless group projects, and people. (My introvert fellow will know this feeling wkwkw)Two-year experience of becoming student council members had brought me further. Still got nervous, but less cracking. Still shaking, but less trembling.


Surprisingly, people label me as ‘chatter’ or point me as a leader (ehem) just because of the way I speak. (I am flattered). 

Here, I want to share with you some items that help me how to build interpersonal skills as an introvert

Attend public speaking seminar or workshop

I have no idea how many public speaking seminars/workshops I have attended, free or paid. This is incredibly helpful since you will get a basic understanding of public speaking. The notion of this topic is not limited only when you speak in public (speech, presentation, etc) but also in little conversation. Don’t forget to apply the theory you’ve got from the seminars. 

how to build interpersonal skills as an introvert Public Speaking Training Universitas Brawijaya Malang 2018 with reza rahadian
Public Speaking Training Universitas Brawijaya Malang 2018

Little things are counted

One of my milestones in conquering my fear is doing small things. I used to just go away when an event finished. Until one day, I chose to say goodbye and shake hands before leaving. You know what?? I really appreciated myself for doing that :”D

So, the next tip on how to build interpersonal skills as an introvert is starting to blend in and do what “normal people” occasionally do. It can be greeting, saying goodbye, and more! Some rejections may happen….. Don’t take it personally, make your voice louder, and you will pass it!

Be confident and prepared

BrianTracy says “a first impression says everything” including your appearance. Talking about the appearance, it actually depends.. But whatever you wear, make sure you wear it comfortably and you look decent  😀

The challenge doesn’t stop in impressing people with what you look, make your content worth to listen especially when you speak in public. Stop beating around the bush because the listeners’ time is also important.

Practice makes perfect

Thanks to my speaking classes and general classes in my university because those require students to speak. So, if you don’t have any speaking classes in your major, you can show your voice in any classes. Contribute to the discussion, raise your hand to deliver your opinion. You can gain good grades by doing this. Wkwkwkw 

I frequently also talk to myself. Like… A LOT. While driving, I usually pretend that I am in an interview whatsoever wkwk (is it dangerous? But it’s fun)

Just. Meet. New. People

Fuck your fear. Just meet new people. 

Find people with the same interest as yours to make it easier, fun, and knowledgeable. Not only you will improve your interpersonal skills, but you can also get information about the things you love. Kill two birds with one stone 😉

I personally join communities, part-times, and internship. You know that I also become a tutor [see it here]. I joined communities to enhance my speaking ability locally and internationally (still learning tho). And I also learn so much during my internship in digital marketing agency because I need to deliver my idea clearly in any kinds of projects. At first, those were really hard, I stuttered, made mistakes, even got mad.

But we’re learning, aren’t we?

aiesec universitas brawijaya
As a volunteer for AIESEC Brawijaya Malang


how to build interpersonal skills as an introvert_afs/yes program volunteer
With Bina Antarbudaya Malang


dako internship malang
Internship at Dako Brand and Communication Malang

Let’s grow together,



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2 responses to “How to Build Interpersonal Skills as An Introvert”


    1. Everlideen Avatar

      YOU TOO, DARLING! Let’s grow together~~!